perfect autumn

three leaves reminded me
that you care.
and this cold helped me remember
that it's passed me by,
the leaves,
the trees,
the sighs.

i dream of cold beers on the hood of a car,
memories of road trips,
destinations near and far.
or free love
for a day or two,
while i let down my guard,
and see what i do.

sinking feelings of blistering numbness
fall into place
behind my ear.
i know that it's never.
not now,
not tomorrow,
not in a year.