when i say i am disappointed
it is the thought
of you in him
because you are in me
and sometimes in the shower
i rehearse our separation
and the thought passes through me
that i should wish the same for you
that you wished for me,
that the boys who touch you
are at least as good as
you deserve.
i understand now,
i think, that this is only half generosity,
and half self-preservation
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