apropos

i pushed you too hard.
the wind pushed me
and i let myself leave, fall
from my tree and do whatever.
i guess i learned my lesson.

five a.m. notoriety
clings to my forehead like sweat
and collateral
i would sleep but there
is too much footage to edit
not enough to use.

metal grows hot in my hands.
i'll try to shave away
the pain in my sinus, the flame
in my gut. they say the
cliffs of silence loom large,
facades of peace are advantageous.

and suddenly i'm caught.
i use mirrors like plates.
i eat myself every day.

where is my mind?

these sorts of montages, these losses
life support
oh brother, don't die
don't die

you collapsed in the heat
the strange beginnings and god i
i wish you were here
seattle, bring me there
i'm so far out i'm drowning in
playthings and ghost calls

oh kid, we did good
we did bad
this city is filled with broken, better men.
where is my mind?

the future takes time to buffer

all these secret books and special codes
i want to run in alleys
deep, gravelly nights, wet lights
we all have a secret future, every
day. mine stays hidden most of the time.

rare snowfall paralyzes deep south

the men cast their papers
strangely to the side
waited for ice to crack, all this salt
seems bound to make a difference.
the looks on their faces
told the women otherwise and so
it was this, a standoff and a museum.
see the ice queen and her collection
see the dreamworlds she creates.
the men want in, the women too.

there are patterns in the snow
deep fissures, fault lines
much blame to spread
each rabbit jumps in time to the
beating of the sun
on cloudy days, they run

some of them are teachers
they too will fight.

the men cast their pencils
down and out. when they mention
kingdoms and thrones, chessboards
know that monarchs hide in gravel
wars are fought at home
the men all fight for honor
but the war's already won.

worlds

scattered memories, fragments, mysteries
every single life i've ever led
and there are thousands
i know that there are millions
every moment
behind my back
in the morning, when the sun rises
and there is fresh snow
i will be dreaming
and sometimes i wish i could
just keep on.

123

excitement! adventure!

just seems to get me going.

all of a sudden i'm punching you
for good reasons in hypothetical cities
with glass wills and iron laws
mosquito nets line every street sign
your nose bleeds every time.
sometimes i give you money
(not enough for medical bills)
sometimes you're sleeping with other men
at the end of the day i'm always
lying to pay the bills
or keep my title
or keep my home

fires can be extinguished, you know.
they can also burn forever.

children dream

the sort of expressionist crap i write
it's all for you
green blazes and smoldering corners
it's all for you
who are you, marble eye
the wings on my final epitaph are weak
faint, traced and untraced
erasers are rarely ever permanent
in the household in my head
there are down quilts on all my beds
there are ashes in our urns
and each great stanza
every powdered face and chorus line
it's all for you
the pirouettes and vital signs
it's all for you
but who are you, distant cry
i've never wanted answers
only smiles, but these days i want
diagrams and blueprints and
exactitude. it's a phase.
it's all a phase.