frequency

another overcast day,
purgatory in the skies.
i'm wishing right now (as always) for it to change.
and what will it be?
a storm?
snow?

will the lightning crash down,
and will the thunder roll 'round
while i let myself down lightly amidst
the might of
nature.

or will peace come with morning,
in freezing angels pouring down,
that they might blot out the darkness
and remind me how wonderful
silence really is.

or maybe it will be sun.
i hope i'm not setting myself up for disappointment.

string arrangement

i could be working right now, you know that?
but an epiphany has suddenly emerged
from the cacophony in my head,
an ironic little laugh bubbles to a shout.

i think it's time we called a time out.
believe, me it's nothing that you've said.
only the invitations retracted seem to surge
to the forefront of the storm that i'm staring at.

and i can't honestly tell if i've been wronged,
so thorough is your devotion to pleasing the throng.

better than worse

slowly slipping into dissonant serenading,
i entertain the thought of hermitage,
because maybe my preconceptions were always wrong,
and idealistic behavior gets you nowhere in the end.
you really know how to put me in the mood - you know which.

attend the sail.

he could open his windows,
and maybe he should.
take off the blindfolds and shout in joy,
take in the sun!
it hasn't been so bright in so long.

he once played among the willows,
where others sat he stood.
he's a renegade and a knight playing coy,
see him run!
it hasn't been so bright in so long.

spies

the world around you is falling apart -
and by that i mean you are the eye of the storm.
and i'm sorry. but i dream too, you know.
and i know what it is to want more, feel it just out of grasp.

it's a dull throbbing and bobbing and in and out
until you know; even the evil is drawing you in.
am i right? i'd give my left eye to meet you in hell
and to battle it out with the forces that be,

and to forget what we know and let the music blare.
because it's so, so much better when it's written down.

dissonance

today was just like any other day.

right? that statement was too true to be true.
it feels as if i'm grasping for reasons that are not there,
running in circles when i should be happy just to see you.

because i need some motive to shout with joy,
afraid that i'll spend my days just pulling out my hair,
wondering whether or not i've made myself your latest toy.

cradle me until i've stopped picking at this skin,
'til my hair is long and my nails are smooth and i know you care.
this ice i'm skating on feels so nice right now, but it's so, so thin.

sestina of doom?

i open my eyes and search for love,
knowing contentedly that i am alone,
for it would seem that at my best i
can never open my eyes to take yours in,
and it is so peaceful and dark
that i know you will never really see me like this.

the moon likes nights like this,
when foolish bards attempt to love.
and the words are only lost in the dark,
so happy to be caught alone,
that no one but the stars may listen in,
and no on is speaking but i.

no one must suffer now that i
have admitted my part in this,
now that i am thoroughly outside-in.
now that i have admitted to admitting love,
i am finally content to lie alone,
smiling sleeplessly in the dark.

but as in everything, the darkness colors dreams dark.
in every possible way i
have committed myself once more to being alone,
inadvertently and sadly you are this:
nameless, faceless, eyeless, mouth-less, my love.
do you hear me? i find your eyes and look in.

i cannot look in without falling in.
blissfully discouraged, i myself am dark,
misunderstood, lost in the complications of love.
led to wander too far from myself i
finally resign myself to thinking this,
that i may learn to change in one day when i am with you and you alone:

alone
in
this
dark,
i
love.

for now i am truly alone, left to leave myself to the dark.
emotions may dive in, but i will always remain - well, "i."
i leave you, my love, with this: be true, my love, to love.