public humiliation

it's inevitable, right?
responding to myself,
the echoes of strange, fleeting fancies,
confirming my fears and it feels so good to rot away,
only i know that tomorrow will be okay.

so if it's forgettable i'll forget it,
and let it take me away,
let that syllable come and enslave my senses,
while i'm moaning and groaning and
dreaming of jumping fences

well, it's a nice notion, anyway,
a little dream on a cold summer day
when the rain is pouring while the sun shines through
and it reminds of me,
but also of you.

here's to you, bpi

if i could hold this energy and turn into poetry
the doors would fly open and the heads would turn,
but it's finite, you bitch,
'cause you made me this way -
i wasn't built for endurance but you tell me to stay.

so i witness the animals as they come out to play
knowing full well that i'm losing my touch,
and i'm thinking,
just let me stay this way -
but i wasn't built for endurance, i was built for today.

it is something

so bottoms up and we're out of this town,
if i smoked i'd be so goddamn high
my problems would look like a fly in the sky
and i'd listen to the children who pretend to drown.

well, it is always something but i'm not sure what,
so i drown in these puddles
until my meanings are muddled
because i can't bear to admit that i've become corrupt.

i guess it's something, but it's really not much.

fucker

do you even now feel victimized
when you've caught the fire in everyone's eyes
and the earth is humming in tune with you
and the world is rushing to catch your fall,
can you really regret all the things you feel
when there are other ones,
silent ones?

your worse half

now i've locked you in the basement
and i hope you rot to death
there's a thousand things you've said to me
but you've wasted all that breath

because there's truth where i am going
i didn't choose a door,
when i padlocked your intentions,
i opened a thousand more.

this song is true

i heard there was a place
where we could run a way
and all our lies would turn to truth
and our faults would melt away

we're running out of time
and apathy won't rhyme
when there lies kings and queens alike
we've crushed their marriage and their lives

we're not the victims, we're the cause
and if you look at all our flaws
they all add up to the same old lines:
this dirty rebellion doesn't work
and the same old song is the same old shit
'cause we're out luck and the frying pan...
let me- let me- let me out of the fire

i heard there was a song
that righted all our wrongs
and mom and dad would see me again
and the others would agree

i've gotten better, gotten strong
and if you could read my palm
all the lines would let you know:
this dirty rebellion doesn't work
and the same old song is the same old shit,
so we're out of this pan and into the-
let me- let me- let me out of the fire.

as things pass / not 111

so the girl smiled as she pulled back her bangs,
and she had no idea where she was going.
her friends had all given her words of advice
but in the end, all she could think of was home.
and she knew in her heart it was the farthest away
that she'd ever be from peace,
it was the problem in her perfect life
and her parents were a blight on her soul.
but still,
it was home?

but these days are passing and the girl is too big
for her notions of peace and belief.
she's gotten older, wiser, stronger, larger, sadder,
but most of all she's found a reason never to trust.
because the people she comforted cry in the dust
where their sounds have no soul-finding voice,
she knows there's no redemption
for those who are caught, only
she wishes she could cry.

it's two days 'til summer, but who really counts?
and while the sun is creeping over my shoulder,
i haven't felt colder in so, so long.
these songs i am hearing have no verse,
though some are happy and others not,
i watch the girl and i watch her friends,
and i know that -

well, in the end -

i'm not one of them.

still, i wish i could tell her that as things pass,
this moment will help her along,
our friendship was nothing but long as she lasts,
she'll find peace,
she'll find peace,
i'll find home.