instead of sleep

my curtain are drawn,
even though the skies
call out:

"come gaze,
dear boy,
upon the ageless night,
so dark
and oh so bright,
come sit with us
and sigh."

and again i wonder
why i am not somewhere
three thousand years ago,
or simply so many miles away,
where the stars truly are
as bright
as these dreams.

lashes

backlashes
and all because your eyelashes
parted to reveal
a soul.
and i saw beautiful flashes
of remorse,
cries,
and this feeling clashes
with everything
i know.
you reek of pity,
splashes of year-old champagne,
it slashes at your perfect figure,
until i understand the rain.

dedicated to:

what's funny
is that none of them
would appreciate it
if they knew that it was written
about them.

snails are beautiful creatures even if they are ugly.

life was in a minor key when you came;
and i realize that all those flats
grated against your perfectly melodious tune.
the harmonies couldn't make up for the sadness,
could they?

but still i savor every note,
even though sometimes
it feels as though i'm living in sixteenths.
and the discord descends inescapably,
and i am watching myself living a depressing blur.

but i guess
it just makes
a key change
that much more
beautiful.

inside of me.

i don't know who i am.
i'll be honest: my ideals have turned into shadows,
and i've lately been content to accuse others of losing theirs.
but what are mine?
who am i?
the characters that make themselves visible after years of introspect
have hidden among my greeds and faults.
and i'm left by myself again,
because reconciliation is barely enough to procure
the friends inside of me.

infinetesimile

for once i am comfortable in the dark as in the light.
i'm lying the wrong way,
my head pointing downhill.
but it's okay.
because even though the blood is rushing to my head,
i am happy.

how i imagine your last day of school.

for every moment i am sad,
show me a smile.
and every time i cry,
give me your joy.

we'll lie on a hill and stare at the stars,
each of us not saying
what we think.
in a circle... as many of us as i care to imagine.

and i think,
'let it last forever,'
even though i know it won't,
and eventually we'll all go.

but right now,
every inch of grass seems softer
than anything i've ever touched,
and the stars will never be this bright again,
and your eyes reflect them perfectly,
dark; nobody would know whether they were hazel
or blue; and the ant that crawls across me
is for once, welcome. because i can see it loving.
and i am glad.