next year

i want to break my hand
mourning your loss
i want to fall off a cliff,
because that's what you cost.
can't you see there's no use without you?
the way we are going, there's no turning back,
but doing it twice?
there's energy i lack
even now,
even when your smile is bright
even when we lay outside and you show me the stars
and the moon
in the dead of night,
i'm feeding off you, like a friendly old tick,
holding on tight
as you charge off that cliff.
do i have to let go?
why does everyone tell me to try?
i don't care,

I DON'T CARE.

about anything,
next year.