all of this security

so i can tell people about my body
even the bad parts
like the time i had a prostate infection, and
my friend and i made our favorite joke
or the hours and hours of nakedness
being drawn, aching, putting myself to sleep
waking up to a thousand shitty portraits
and knowing how to see myself in every one

so i tell people about your body
because it is not private
you use it every day
and i touch it every day
and at this point, we
are as much about our bodies as we are
about our brains.
if i were to stop talking about your body
(all of it)
i would have to stop talking about you.

is this us? when was the last time i looked deep enough
into your eyes to see myself?

but these are fleeting thoughts, and you will come upstairs
and we will touch
my body held against yours
yours against mine
in front of an open window.