i don't want you in my life no more

he wrenches the door open
and your head snaps too,
this house is your coffin
elsinore is your womb,
else we four are a tomb.

your blood it smells sweet
to the carrion birds,
the boy knows this and waits,
his patience is great, though
relations are fate.

but the clock ticks incessant
and the little boy's bored,
his mother is eaten
time has taken his life,
rhymes have shaken this knife.

the weight of words (oh gods, what have i done?)

we're all waiting for affirmation,
redemption's there, we just need to find it,
and the earth is hurting while we scour the land,
searching for our crosses and standing hand in hand

keys are falling like rain on glass,
and the dukes are dancing with their pretty wives,
but redemption waits for those who'll find it,
we can't spend eternity crying.

and the smiles aren't always fake,
love is a reason and words have weight,
but the ships are beached and the cars have sunk,
redemption's a word,
and i'm trying to lift it.

no, i want you to lift weights

be my guy,
can't you see it's late?
the birds are singing,
but we're full of hate,
and we'd throttle friends just to put end
just to put end to the way we work

be my guy,
take me out to the woods,
get me high,
give me life,
and we'd smoke ourselves silly to forget out lives
to forget our lives and our stupid wives

be my guy,
challenge me to a fight,
swing a fist,
break my wrist,
pull me out of this life and into the night
and maybe i'd feel things if you'd be my guy.

dedicated to people like judas or lw / addressed to You

i can't fathom what to say
to make these feelings disperse,
i want to fall into mental homicide
and take out my rage on something that can feel.
i don't care if it's you, or her,
just simplify these complexes with a razor-knife.

now's the part where i apologize
for the feelings of worthlessness i've revealed,
where i take back my remorse and appreciate you
for you.
where do i learn to do that?
where do i learn to live without regret?
i feel myself failing expectations
and falling away from friends
and flailing
and flying
and never forgiving
and losing trust in everything.

and then there's You.
will i ever speak to you again?
not in song, or notes, or poetry,
or any other stupid wall to hide behind -
are you truly my friend?
go on, make me not care that you are
better.

LISTEN; i'm talking to you.
just for once forget the chaos
forget the idea that you can't choose -
pick whoever or whatever you want,
just choose... please.
or i'm a ghost that's left to haunt.

post-script

i am a failure to the utmost degree,
this is not the issue.
simply show me how to live with this,
i don't need your secondhand tissues.

product

a boy didn't recognize himself in the mirror today.
instead he saw a man,
and should he have rejoiced?
even though the man was haggard and lost and caught in a haze,
he was still a man.

center for.

god must really be looking out for me,
knew i'd need you right about now,
fate must have smiled to numb the pain,
you were here somehow.

let's hope the prize wasn't behind this door.